🤝 My Circle of Support
Who is standing beside you while you stand beside someone else?
When someone you love has cancer, it's easy for your attention to stay focused on what they need. But caregiving can become difficult when you don't have enough people or resources around you.
This tool is designed to help you take an honest look at the support you have right now.
You don't need a large family or a big group of friends. Your support may include family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, members of your faith community, other caregivers, support-group members, healthcare professionals, or people who live far away.
The important question isn't how many people you have. It's who you can realistically count on and what you can count on them for.
📄 Printable Circle of Support Worksheet
Prefer to work through this on paper? Download the printable worksheet and use it to identify the people you can count on, where you may need more support, and one next step you can take.
Start With the People Around You
Think about the people in your life right now. Don't list someone because you think they should help. Think about the people you believe you can actually depend on.
Your support doesn't have to come from one person, and it doesn't have to come only from people who live nearby. Different people may be able to help you in different ways.
Who can you realistically count on?
Write down the people who come to mind:
1. ______________________________________
2. ______________________________________
3. ______________________________________
4. ______________________________________
5. ______________________________________
Don't worry if you can't fill every line. You may have one person, five people, or no one you feel you can depend on right now. There is no right number.
This is simply a starting point. In the next step, we'll look at what kind of help you could realistically ask each person for.
What Could You Ask Them For?
Now look at the names you wrote down. Think about what you could realistically ask each person to help with.
One person doesn't have to do everything. Someone may be able to drive to an appointment but may not be the person you want to talk to when you're frightened. Someone who lives far away may not be able to help at home, but they may be able to check in regularly, order groceries, make phone calls, or help you research something.
Next to each name, write one or two things you could realistically count on that person for.
1. __________________ Could help with: __________________________
2. __________________ Could help with: __________________________
3. __________________ Could help with: __________________________
4. __________________ Could help with: __________________________
5. __________________ Could help with: __________________________
Where Are the Gaps?
Having people in your life doesn't always mean you have the support you need. Look at your circle again and think about the different kinds of help you may need as a caregiver.
Do you have someone you could call for:
Practical help such as meals, errands, transportation, pets, or household tasks?
Help when something unexpected happens or you simply can't do everything yourself?
Someone you can talk to honestly when you're frightened, exhausted, angry, or having a difficult day?
Help understanding information, making phone calls, or finding resources?
Someone who checks in on you, not only on the person with cancer?
You may have someone for every one of these things. You may see one or two gaps. Or you may realize that you have very little support at all.
Where is the biggest gap in your Circle of Support right now?
If Your Circle Is Small
If you looked at your Circle of Support and realized that you have very few people to call, or perhaps no one you can depend on for some of the things you need, don't stop here.
One place to begin is with the cancer center or medical team caring for the person you love. Ask whether an oncology social worker or patient navigator is available, and tell them plainly:
“I'm the primary caregiver, and I don't have enough support around me. I need help finding resources.”
You don't have to know exactly what kind of help to ask for. A social worker or patient navigator may be able to help you identify services and resources available in your community.
The Caregiver Education Center Resource Lists can also help you look for caregiver organizations, support groups, community services, respite care, financial assistance, and other sources of support.
🤝 Explore Caregiver Resources
Your Health Matters Too
While you're keeping track of appointments, treatments, medications and everything else happening with the person you love, it can be very easy for your own healthcare to move to the bottom of the list.
Keep your own medical appointments and routine checkups.
When you see your doctor, tell them that you're the primary caregiver for someone with cancer. Don't assume they know what caregiving has been like for you. Tell them what has been happening in your life and about any changes you've noticed in your own physical or emotional health.
If you're not sleeping, you're exhausted, you're feeling anxious or depressed, your weight has changed, or you've noticed other changes in your health, tell your doctor.
Your healthcare provider can't know what caregiving is doing to you unless you tell them.
Your own healthcare provider belongs in your Circle of Support too.
What Is Your Next Step?
Take another look at your Circle of Support and the gaps you identified.
You don't have to solve everything today. Choose one thing that would make your life a little easier or give you more support right now.
The area where I need the most support is:
One person, organization, or healthcare professional I can contact is:
The first step I will take is:
Your Circle of Support may change over time. People may become more available, others may become less available, and what you need may change as cancer and caregiving change.
Come back to this tool whenever you need to take another look at the support around you.
🤝 Find Additional Support
If your Circle of Support needs strengthening, you don't have to figure out where to look on your own.
The Caregiver Education Center has resource lists to help you find caregiver organizations, support services, support groups, respite care, financial assistance, and other resources.
A Final Reminder
Your Circle of Support doesn't have to be large, and it doesn't have to look like anyone else's.
What matters is knowing who you can actually depend on, recognizing where you need more help, and knowing where you can turn when the support you need isn't already around you.
You are standing beside someone you love through cancer or serious illness. Make sure there are people and resources standing beside you too.
THE CAREGIVER EDUCATION CENTER
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