🌿 About the Author
Meet the voice behind *Standing Beside Him*
I’m Debra Othman — wife, mother, lifelong HR professional, and suddenly, a caregiver.
I grew up in Alaska and later spent over 40 years working in Government and Health Care Human Resources. My work was always about people — listening, supporting, and helping them through challenges. What I didn’t know was how much I would need to lean on those same skills when life changed suddenly at home.
When my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer, I found myself on a path I never expected. Overnight, I became the one juggling appointments, asking hard questions, managing side effects, and quietly holding us both together.
Like many caregivers, I often felt invisible. There were so few resources that spoke directly to partners — to the people standing beside the patient, trying to be strong while also feeling lost.
Note from Debra: My work focuses on caregiver education, practical resources, and emotional support. I do not provide medical, legal, financial, or mental health advice. I encourage every caregiver and patient to work closely with their healthcare team and other qualified professionals when making important decisions.
🌿 Why I Built This
When my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer, I stepped into a role I had never expected to have. Almost overnight, life became appointments, decisions, learning unfamiliar language, adjusting expectations, and trying to make sense of what caregiving really meant.
As I moved through those years, I realized how much partners and spouses carry that often goes unseen. There are the visible tasks, but there is also the mental load, the emotional adjustment, the planning, the waiting, and the quiet work of continuing daily life while something important has changed.
What helped me most was not having all the answers. It was finding practical guidance, hearing from people who had been there, and discovering that even small moments of understanding could make difficult days feel more manageable.
That experience became the beginning of this website and eventually grew into two books.
Standing Beside Him was written for partners and spouses navigating prostate cancer while caregiving is happening.
Orphaned Partners grew from the quieter questions that can come later, when caregiving changes, ends, or life begins to look different than expected.
Inside the 🌻 Partner & Caregiver Tool Library, you’ll find free worksheets, reflections, practical support, and gentle guidance created to support different parts of the journey.
Take what helps. Come back whenever you need to.
🌿 Why I Wrote the Book
Standing Beside Him was born out of that silence
I wanted to create the guide I desperately needed — something practical enough to help with checklists and planning, but honest enough to talk about intimacy, identity, and the emotional labor partners carry in silence.
This book blends lived experience, real partner voices, and compassionate tools for the moments when caregiving feels both overwhelming and deeply human. My hope is that you’ll feel less alone, more equipped, and more seen.
🌿 Why Language Matters
The words we use shape how we understand this experience and how we move through it together.
You may hear the word “caregiver” in medical settings. While it describes the support being given, it can also quietly shift the relationship into something that feels one-sided — as if one person is giving and the other is only receiving.
But that is not how most couples live this.
Even as roles change, you are still partners. You are still spouses. You are still a team.
Using the words partner and spouse helps protect that connection. It keeps the relationship at the center, rather than reducing it to tasks or responsibilities. It also supports dignity — for both of you — by recognizing that each person still has a voice and a place in what is happening.
This language creates space for a more balanced, human experience. One where care exists, but the relationship is not lost inside it.
That is why throughout this space, I use the words partner and spouse.
🌿 Personal Touch
When I’m not writing, you’ll usually find me in the garden, at home in Washington, or enjoying a good foreign film — always grateful for a story that makes me laugh.
The alpacas in my pastures, and the sunflowers that inspired the symbol for Standing Beside Him, remind me daily that resilience can be both gentle and strong.
Thank you for stopping here. Truly.
🌻 Debra
